Dear Employer,

Today you received my formal written notification of my intent to resign my position as Store Manager. Since I have worked for you specifically, I have no time to blog anymore. If I don't blog my readers forget about me. If my readers forget about me, they stop leaving me lovely comments. When I don't get that lovely "full inbox" I get unhappy. When I'm unhappy I eat a lot. When I eat a lot I get fat. When I'm fat it affects your company image. When your company's image is affected, trade is also affected. When business is down, you become unhappy. When you're unhappy I assume you will eat a lot, like me. When you eat a lot, I'm afraid you will become fat, like me.

So you see, it's a vicious cycle. I have done this for your own good, because I care for you and the company.

Happy trails,

Sarah